There comes a point in any genuine process of growth where something begins to stir — a pull to release what no longer fits. Old beliefs start to feel confining. Patterns that once felt protective now feel like cages. Relationships, habits, and identities that once defined you begin to chafe in ways you can’t quite explain. This is healing in transformation — and it’s one of the clearest signals that something deeper is underway.
Leon VanderPol identifies this as the third signal of awakening and transformation: the growing impulse to let go, release, or integrate aspects of your life that no longer align with who you’re becoming — even when the path forward is not yet clear.
Building on What Came Before
Healing in transformation doesn’t arrive in isolation. It builds on earlier signals — particularly what Leon calls “personal gravity”: the ego patterns, limiting beliefs, emotional pain, and shadow material that have shaped your life from below the surface.
In the second signal of awakening, this hidden material begins surfacing into awareness. You become more conscious of the inner patterns running your life — the defenses, the wounds, the stories you’ve been living by. (If this resonates, you might explore our article on what transformation feels like at first.)
The third signal takes this a step further. It’s not just awareness of these patterns — it’s the active desire to be free of them. Something inside you knows these layers don’t belong to who you’re becoming, even if your mind can’t yet see what comes next.
Why the Desire to Let Go Feels So Disorienting
Healing in transformation often arrives with a paradox: you feel pulled to release something, but you don’t know what will replace it. The old identity, the old way of being, the old beliefs — they’ve been the scaffolding of your life. And here you are, feeling called to dismantle the scaffolding before the new structure is visible.
This is profoundly disorienting for most people. The mind wants a plan. The ego wants certainty. The culture around you rewards clear direction and measurable progress. But healing in transformation operates on a different timeline and a different logic — one that asks you to trust the process before you can see where it’s leading.
Many people experience this phase as emotional heaviness, restlessness, or a deep sense that something needs to change without being able to pinpoint exactly what. According to research on post-traumatic growth, this kind of disorientation is often a precursor to profound positive change — the discomfort is not the problem but the doorway.
Normalizing the Discomfort
One of the most damaging aspects of Western culture’s relationship to transformation is the assumption that discomfort means something is wrong. We medicalize sadness, pathologize confusion, and interpret emotional intensity as a problem to be solved rather than a process to be honored.
Healing in transformation requires a different framework — one that recognizes discomfort as a natural and even functional part of the journey. The desire to let go often comes with grief. Releasing old identities means mourning who you were. Shedding beliefs that once protected you means sitting with the vulnerability of being undefended.
None of this is pathological. It is the natural cost of growth. And recognizing this — normalizing it rather than fighting it — is one of the most important things a person can do for themselves during this phase.
Learning to Be With It
The practice that most supports healing in transformation is the same one that supports all phases of genuine growth: learning to be with what arises.
Not solving it. Not explaining it. Not rushing to the next phase. Just staying present with the discomfort, the uncertainty, the grief, the desire for release — and allowing the process to unfold at its own pace.
This is harder than it sounds. Everything in modern life pushes toward action, resolution, and forward movement. The practice of being with — of remaining present without needing things to change — is a quiet act of courage.
For some people, this practice is supported by time in nature, by contemplative practices, or by creative expression. For others, it requires the holding of another person — a coach, therapist, or trusted companion who can sit alongside them without trying to fix what’s happening.
Healing Environments and Support
Healing in transformation is rarely a solitary process. While the inner work belongs to the individual, the environment matters enormously.
Some people find that nature itself becomes a healing environment — that time spent in open spaces, near water, or under trees provides the kind of spaciousness the psyche needs to do its reorganizing. Others find that specific healing modalities — bodywork, breath work, expressive arts, or energy work — support the process of release.
And many people find that the most powerful environment for this kind of healing is a relationship with someone who understands what’s happening — who can normalize the experience, hold space without agenda, and trust the process even when the person going through it cannot.
This is one of the most important roles a coach or practitioner can play: not as a healer who fixes, but as a witness who holds. Someone who understands that healing in transformation is not about returning to a previous state of comfort, but about moving toward a deeper, more integrated, more authentic way of being.
Healing as Wholeness
At its deepest level, healing in transformation is not about fixing something broken. It’s about returning to wholeness — integrating the parts of yourself that were fragmented, suppressed, or abandoned in the process of becoming who you thought you were supposed to be.
This understanding changes the entire orientation of the journey. You’re not trying to get somewhere new. You’re remembering something ancient. You’re letting go of what was never truly yours — the borrowed identities, the learned defenses, the acquired beliefs — so that what is genuinely yours can finally be lived.
This is why healing in transformation, however uncomfortable it feels in the moment, often carries a deep undertone of rightness. Even in the confusion, there’s a sense of coming home. Even in the letting go, there’s a sense of finding.
Frequently Asked Questions
What is healing in transformation? Healing in transformation refers to the natural process in which old patterns, beliefs, identities, and emotional material surface and are released as a person moves toward greater wholeness and authenticity. It involves the active desire to let go of what no longer fits, even before the new way of being is fully clear.
Why does healing during transformation feel so uncomfortable? Because it involves dismantling the scaffolding of your current identity before the new structure is visible. This requires sitting with uncertainty, grief, and vulnerability — all of which are natural and functional parts of the process, not signs that something is wrong.
How can I support someone going through this process? The most powerful support is being a steady, non-judgmental presence. Don’t try to fix, explain, or rush the process. Instead, hold space, normalize the discomfort, and trust that the person’s system knows how to find its way toward wholeness.
The Deep Coaching Intensive trains coaches to hold space for exactly this kind of deep healing and transformation. If you’re navigating your own journey, you may also find resonance in our article on the stages and dynamics of transformation. Explore more at the Center for Transformational Coaching.