Deep, extended periods of silence is something most coaches are not comfortable with. And I’m not just speaking about silence as in “I’m keeping my mouth shut” silence. But silence that is enriching, nourishing, connecting, and in which people can hear the still voice inside themselves.
Most coaches are okay with the occasional long pause to allow a client to think, but beyond that things can feel awkward. Yet in transformational coaching, being comfortable using silence is essential.
- Enter into Silence before each Session: Spend 5-10 minutes before every session connecting to the silence of your being.
- Stay Present: Try not to let your mind wander during the session. Keep bringing your attention back to the spacious silence within.
- Embrace the Silence within the Space: Don’t be afraid of this. Periods of total quiet will allow you and your client to sit with what was said and what is trying to emerge. When you are sure your client has completed his/her thoughts on the subject it will be time for you to comment.
- Avoid Forcing Silence or Bringing It In Too Early:The best silence is organic, it flows from the spaciousness that is already there in the session. If you suddenly say, “Let’s just sit in silence with that” is your client actually ready or desiring it?
- Be Mindful of Your Motive and Intent Before Starting a Conversation:Check in with yourself and ask: Where is this coming from within me? Is this “of me”? Is there an ulterior motive here?
- Trust:A major part of the Deep Coaching process is trusting in what’s emerging in the moment. Trust that your highest self is providing you and your client with the wisdom, insights, and clarity that is needed.