Resistance is one of the main obstacles to change for our clients. Resistance makes it very difficult for our clients to reframe the limiting perspectives they hold. These perspectives, however ineffective or damaging they might be, have provided something for them, on some level and at some point in time in their lives, for them to continue holding on to them.
It’s a catch 22: they’re in the coaching space because something isn’t working for them any longer, or they desire to grow beyond their current level of awareness, and yet when confronted with a limiting perspective they are highly resistant to reframing or changing it.
So how do we handle this type of scenario?
3 Tips for Working with Resistance
- Listen to understand where they’re coming from. Wrap your mind fully around their situation. Do not move on until you can see what they are seeing.
- Ask questions to remind them why they chose to be in the coaching space with you.
- What are you looking for? What is your goal here? What do you really want? Make sure they’re very clear about this.
- Dive into how the current perspective is affecting them.
- “How is this serving you?”
As transformational coaches we’re not trying to change our clients perspectives, but rather we are listening for clues, subtle or not so subtle, that tell us our clients want this change. We always let the client lead while mirroring back what we’re hearing. In this process the perspectives that need changing will be made clear, at which point we can then move forward in supporting our clients in reframing them.