When a client is in “trying” mode, how do we help them discover what’s going on, why they are in trying mode, and what they are committed to?
What is the easiest way to know what you are “trying” to do?
- Look at where the struggle is. The lack of energy, will, interest.
What is the easiest way to know what you are committed to?
- Look at what you are doing. How are you spending your time?
Tips for working with trying and commitment:
- Investigate: Inquire into the lack of progress, get curious about the trying. Learn what their perspective on it all is. Retain a non-judgmental space for what is going on, what they are doing, how they are spending their time.
- Discern: are ready to look deeper? If your client is willing to go deeper, from their perceptions begin to inquire into their true underlying beliefs and thoughts are, and the validity of those beliefs and thoughts. (For a process, look up Byron Katie’s The Work.)
- Discover: what do they really want to have happen? What do they want to commit to? Get clear and then hold up the goal or vision for the coachee. Visualize and energize that end state.
- Get clear on the core value or motivation of the desired goal or action they are committing to. Get to the real reason. Get past any drudgery or “I have to…” Get to the core value of why they are doing it or else they may lose sight of that.
- Move them into a place of commitment + action [Goal setting + Commitment + Action = Success] How committed are they to the goal? What is the right actionfor them to take?
Ask about putting structure in place around the commitment. Structure supports commitment.